What went on in 2018?
I took a trip with my sister Donna. We flew into Dublin and spent 5 days traveling around Ireland. My favorite place was the city of Howth, a little port town on the southeast coast. Then we took the ferry from Dublin to Wales for the day and then on to London. We spent 4 days in London and also visited the city of Bath and went to Stonehenge. We took the Euro star to Paris for 4 days and another train to Amsterdam for 4 days. We visited the Anne Frank House which was a powerful experience. She was an amazing writer. HER QUOTES COVERED THE WALLS Then back to Ireland and home to Chicago. So fun!
I spent the last few winters at home in Minnesota writing. There were many days I never set foot outside other than to shovel, writing from 5am to midnight. It was fun, healing, and amazing to live in the flow for such long periods of time. I loved the transcendence that I experienced. I wrote over 100 short stories which I now use in my show. They will also be the basis for my first book.
I am doing more and more live performances. Since I found myself writing stories, it was suggested by a fellow musician that I read a story at a gig. I tried it and fell in love with storytelling. I began incorporating stories into my show. They have become part of who I am as a performer. As this new direction evolves, I can see other additions in the future. I envision more of a multi-media show. However, I don't want to get too ahead of myself. For now, I am focusing on the songs and stories.
I also went to Iceland! I've been so fortunate to be able to travel quite a bit. Iceland was very different from any other place I'd been. It was magical, otherworldly. And guess what? There was a music festival happening- SONAR. I do not call these kinds of things mere coincidence anymore. WOW!
What I learned in 2018?
That I cannot control people, places, and things. I have lived with the illusion of control, believing I could save myself from feeling pain and fear. I don't want to be blind-sided. If I focus on the negative and expect the worst, I won't be caught off guard. But I have learned that all I can do is the next right thing. I can only change what I personally can and I have to let go of the rest. and pray for the wisdom to know the difference. If I don't know what to do, I can pause. I can ask for guidance from the Universe. I might not always be in touch with the Universe, but it is always in touch with me.
I choose LOVE instead. In every moment, there is an opportunity to choose love over fear. When I choose LOVE, the fear may not disappear, but I don't have to let it rule my life anymore.
Forgiveness is a gift. As much as I might want to, I cannot will myself to forgive or be forgiven. I can only look at my part and amend myself. Easier said than done. It has been a lifelong journey towards learning to forgive myself.
Achieving a desired outcome is not what gives me peace. I feel peace when I am taking action, when I am in the moment and I am immersed in the creating of it. As long as I am in motion and doing what I love, where I am going is unimportant.
Listening to my soul and not the chatter my head...trusting myself(this is an on-going process)
Physical clutter is emotional clutter...it weighs me down and keeps me stuck in the past. If a thing no longer makes me feel good, it is time to let it go.
Life is short. I pay attention to time and how I spend it. I don't want to waste one moment trying to be anyone other than who I am.
Dont drink, go to meetings, and help other alcoholics still suffering. We are not alone!!! I always felt that I not only could, but that I should do everything alone. This is a lie and impossible.
and on to 2019 with gratitude!